I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He better not be in your backpack
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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