I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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