Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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