party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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