Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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