life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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