Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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