i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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