he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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