I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I cannot find my penis.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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