from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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