I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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