420 ftw
Princesses don't give blow jobs
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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