The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize