we have officially lost it.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
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I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
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i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize