Got a toothbrush?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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