she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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