I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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