You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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