Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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