Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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