I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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