My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
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I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
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i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I enjoy the company of your penis
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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