Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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