I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize