ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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