It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize