I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize