You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I love you. Go after that dick
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