You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enjoy the penises
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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