Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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