I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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