tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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