it wasn't lemon gatorade
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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