So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
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I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
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That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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