how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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