Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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