you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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