I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize