Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Quick, to the slutcave!
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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