You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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