Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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