At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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