Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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