So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is wine microwaveable?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Randomize