You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize