I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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