you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize