new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
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this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
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I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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