The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize