Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Is it penis luge time yet?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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