Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i just made my gag reflex go away.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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